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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Parenting Advice

Two things have come up recently that I wanted to ask my fellow mama's and parents for advice.

1) After a spanking (which we really just began), JJ wants to hit himself. We tell him it's ok--he needs to be nice to himself, but I think he's confused about what we are doing. We know that in certain situations we do want to use this form of discipline, but we also want to make sure it's effective. So, is this normal? What can we do to clarify what we are doing to help his little 2 year-old brain understand better??

2) Picky eating: I would say JJ's been a pretty good eater--especially at dinner time where he'll eat almost anything I make. Recently, he's been refusing to eat dinner (I have made a couple of different things). We've disciplined him for it, but it doesn't seem to be too effective and of course we hate the thought of a two year-old growing boy not getting enough to eat. Any thoughts??

I know there's alot of wisdom and those who have gone through this age before, so please respond when you can.



Julie said...

Hey Abby,

We have been spanking Jasper's hand mostly for things and I started on his leg if he is kicking something he shouldn't. I think what JJ is doing is normal. I remember Eli doing something like this and have heard other mom's whose kiddos did this too. I was told to ignore them. It worked for Eli. Mostly because they are "disciplining" themselves. If you ignore him, see if he reacts. In fact typing this I had to smack Jasper's hand 3 times because he kept pushing his plate on the floor.

As for food, you know that Eli and JJ are alike but Jasper doesn't eat anything. The only things he likes are all sweets, pb&j, pizza and hot dogs. That is it. He doesn't even like McDonalds. Strange kid. So, I just make food and put it in front of him, if he eats great if not, he doesn't eat. I have ALWAYS been told, kids WILL NOT STARVE themselves. JJ is fine and will grow fine unless he won't eat at all over time. He will. He is like Eli and Eli has become pickier over the years and it is annoying and Jasper is just annoying. Seriously. I told him to eat a piece of apple...a PIECE and then he could have dessert and he won't do it. Not one piece. So, it is his loss and he watches Eli eat his and I am hoping this will help him eat, but it isn't.

One thing that also worked for us... that a friend told me. Have them eat as many bits of something for as how old they are. So, Jasper needs to eat two bites of everything on his plate or no dessert. Eli has to eat 5. If they are still hungry, then they can eat their meal. Understand? Otherwise no food, no dessert...and they will not starve themselves. They are smart and usually are just trying to get what they want and nothing else.

Sorry that was a lot, let me know if something is unclear!

Sara said...

Hey Abs,

JJ is just imitating you when he hits his leg. It his way of trying to understand. Always pray with him when you are done spanking him even if you think he doesn't understand the process. I find the praying helps me and reinforces giving the whole thing over to God and praying that He will do that work in his heart that He alone can do. As he gets older you should be able to give a warning as to what will happen if he continues, but just be consistent and follow through.

As far as eating. If I make something spicy, I don't force Owen to eat it, though I try to have him try everything. If it is something he has eaten and he just doesn't want to eat it, then he just doesn't have dinner. If it's something spicy, etc. we have a "back up" of yogurt. Otherwise, he only gets a drink before bedtime. Perhaps we aren't as tough as we should be, but I have seen with Nea's girls that they "grow out" of their picky-ness in time.

Love you Twinner--you're doing great!

btw: I'm listening to God of the City as I write this:)