Observing Lent...Second Week

Second Week of Lent

An excerpt from With Burning Hearts, Henri J.M. Nouwen

Discerning the Presence

The Gospels are filled with examples of God's presence in the word. Personally, I am always touched by the story of Jesus in the synagogue of Nazareth. There he read from Isaiah:

The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
for he has anointed me
to bring good news to the afflicted.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives,
sight to the blind,
to let the oppressed go free,
to proclaim a year of favor from the Lord.
(Luke 4:18-19)

After having read these words, Jesus said, "This text is being fulfilled today even while you are listening." Suddenly, it becomes clear that the afflicted, the captives, the blind, and the oppressed are not people somewhere outside of the synagogue who, someday, will be liberated; they are the people who are listening. And it is in the listening that God becomes present and heals.

The Word of God is not a word to apply in our daily lives at some later date; it is a word to heal us through, and in, our listening here and now.

The questions therefore are: How does God come to me as I listen to the word? Where do I discern the healing hand of God touching me through the word? How are my sadness, my grief, and my mourning being transformed at this very moment? Do I sense the fire of God's love purifying my heart and giving me new life? These questions lead me to the sacrament of the word, the sacred place of God's real presence.

Once again found this challenging as I seek to create some space to hear from God and faithfully open His Word...so blessed to know He will answer and that HE IS WORKING...

Observing Lent...

First Week of Lent

Called to Life, Called to Love, Henri J. M. Nouwen

Lent is the most important time of the year to nurture our inner life. It is the time during which we not only prepare ourselves to celebrate the mystery of the death and resurrection of Jesus, but also the death and resurrection that constantly takes place within us. Life is a continuing process of the death of the old and the familiar, and being reborn again into a new hope, a new trust, and a new love. The death and resurrection of Jesus therefore is not just an historical event that took place a long time ago, but an inner event that takes place in our heart when we are willing to be attentive to it....

Lent offers a beautiful opportunity to discover the mystery of Christ within us. It is a gentle but also demanding time. It is a time of solitude but also community, it is a time of listening to the voice within, but also a time of paying attention to other people's needs. It is a time to continuously make the passage to new inner life as well as to life with those around us.

When we live Lent attentively and gently, then Easter can truly be a celebration during which the full proclamation of the risen Christ will reverberate into the deepest place of our being.

I definitely didn't grow up observing the liturgical year, but as I went to college and "out on my own", I would say it's become an increasingly important part of my yearly spiritual "rhythm".

I figure, if nothing else, Lent should and can be a time to reflect, which, whenever we take the time to do that in our busy, fragmented and scattered lives, we are most certainly going to reap benefits.

This year, I would say that the Lord has been preparing me to be ready to reflect upon my life--its comforts, securities and to choose the "better part".

This is corresponding well with our renewed commitment to our budget (always in the back of my/our mind, but how "strict" are we with ourselves?) I am honestly just so sick of the STUFF! I just am so rich in material things and comforts--I don't need to compare myself with family, neighbors, co-workers to see if I am "relatively poor", because in the global scheme I am absurdly rich. Because things are accessible, I am choosing them and as long as I am called to stay in this country the "temptation" to choose so many wants over needs will be right there. So I am being called to renew my commitment to the simple--not legalistically, but because it truly is the "better part". Living simply provides the space to appreciate beauty in such a free-er way and to explore creativity where comfort has replaced it. These are most definitely the Depression-era roots of my grandparents.

So practically I am taking a challenge that my sister Kristen's friend, Cindy, suggested to her during Lent. Work through your pantry--don't just go and get more groceries, but instead be creative with what you have in your pantry/freezer, etc. So far this has produced homemade pizza, chicken divan, meatball sandwiches using frozen hamburger buns and potato dinner rolls, pudding pie on a broken graham cracker crust and once again the great appreciation for a husband who is so "easy to please" when it comes to his stomach. It's been lots of "fun" and I highly recommend it...it has also been a good deal freeing. My goal would be to reduce and simplify my "stores" of reserve and also, amazingly, if I could be under-budget this month in groceries, to give that away to somewhere in the world that it would be of great use.

Hopefully, this would jump start this practice at different points all throughout the year--to help stay in budget and be able to free up money to give away.

I am also going to be going through all of the "reserve" things that I have "around" and give/clear as much as I can...I really will need help with my "pack rat" tendencies that come to me courtesy of my beloved, sentimental mother.

Finally, I am going to be looking at how I spend the money I have on what I consider necessities and ask the hard questions about why I think I need these things and be willing to "surrender" whatever I may be called to.

The sermon this morning was from Isaiah 58 about "true fasting". This passage has been special to me ever since a season of revival/renewal that swept through many Christian colleges during the spring of my junior year. It has been beloved ever since and has inspired many a vision of the Life I would like to live...of the things I would like to be about. I am so delighted to find that the ministry we are a part of and the opportunities we have speak to "loose-ing the chords of injustice" and "breaking every yoke." However, I was incredibly challenged by what more it can mean in these days. What religious things, ways of living a so-called Christian life, do I cling to that have nothing to do with this "true fast?" I felt and knew deep within that calling toward 'greater things'...toward choosing the 'better part' and something deep in my soul was stirred than has been in quite a while...

While the Lenten season leads to the observance of Christ's crucifixion and death, and culminates in the celebration of His victory in resurrection, I believe the whole season is a calling to our own death--the things we live for that mean nothing for eternity. This is what we are 'daily' called to as Christ-followers, but I am thankful to observe the 'heart of Lent' and to bring this call to sacrifice, self-denial to the forefront of my reflection IN ORDER TO MAKE ROOM FOR NEW LIFE, LOVE, OPPORTUNITY TO PROCLAIM HIM--the higher and better and more blessed that I might have missed otherwise.

Receiving Forgiveness

Receiving Forgiveness

There are two sides to forgiveness: giving and receiving. Although at first sight giving seems to be harder, it often appears that we are not able to offer forgiveness to others because we have not been able fully to receive it. Only as people who have accepted forgiveness can we find the inner freedom to give it. Why is receiving forgiveness so difficult? It is very hard to say, "Without your forgiveness I am still bound to what happened between us. Only you can set me free." That requires not only a confession that we have hurt somebody but also the humility to acknowledge our dependency on others. Only when we can receive forgiveness can we give it.

This definitely touched my heart...and I ask myself: "Do I receive forgiveness?" or "Do I try not to need forgiveness?" But then, I remember, "I am married and there is NO WAY I can live a day, hour or minute, for that matter, without needing to receive forgiveness." And now, I ask again, "I have a gracious husband who constantly offers forgiveness, but do I really receive it or only "seem" to and then silently beat myself up?" Well, lots for me to meditate upon...hope this holds something for you too...

Glad to Be Blogging again...Crossroads Reflection

I've been looking forward to the chance to reflect on the past couple of weeks since I last got to blog. (several new posts of the kids follow this one!)

It seems to be a crossroads of sorts for me...in a good way. Here's how:

• I am feeling really myself and physically 100% again.
• The scope of the ministry of now having two kids is setting in and molding me (us).
• The amazing and so easily consuming aspects of ministry in a new school (UHS-update several posts below) are hitting Jared and therefore us.
• The need to work through and embrace what fills my days with 2 kids as opposed to the aspects of ministry outside of the home I used to engage in much more so.
• The reality of how easy it is to lose touch as a couple simply juggling extra demands.

So, where am I at in this crossroads? Well, quite providentially, Jared had to be away for the better part of 5 days and, surprisingly?, the pressing need to reflect upon what's listed above really caught my attention.
Sort of ironic, or surprising? I think it was that stretching that makes it so apparent that you cannot proceed--at least not well--in your own strength that brought me into deeper communion with the Lord in those days. Isn't God so good? Some days I was up with one at 5am and put the other down at 11pm. There were no extended quiet times (even past 5 minutes of "My Utmost For His Highest"!). But, in His supreme goodness, the Lord met me and taught me and reminded me of a great deal that I share mostly for myself, but perhaps there's some encouragement for you:)

I again was reminded of how easy it is to "demand" of a servant-hearted husband. Be selfish in my fatigue and only think of my needs--I am repenting of this and asking the Lord to give me the firm resolve to serve Jared in the ways I know he needs to be healthy himself. We are on the front lines in seeing young people be brought from darkness to light and the Enemy doesn't like it. My husband needs the space to commune with God as he faces spiritual attack daily because of what he does and as he seeks to exercise headship with a strong-willed, opinionated and too easily domineering wife. (I am NOT being too hard on myself here!)

I learned much of the sweetness of these days. To be able to run up and down the basketball court with JJ--I love having a boy! To talk to sweet, little cooing baby Susie and see the light in her eyes for her mama. To laugh with my son and shower kisses and hugs that he continues to eagerly snatch up. To have them both here and healthy and BE THANKFUL for that gift. I remember how tired I was as a teacher--hoping I was planting seeds, but working with tough terrain that had been so poorly treated for so many years. I am that kind of tired in the busiest of these days, but I see instantaneous rewards and am able to start with new soil and by God's grace, nurture it well.

I allowed the Lord to show me how my heart has become detached from what we do with high school students, by not experiencing it firsthand. In seeing this, I was reminded how quickly I could become embittered for the ways my husband is called away as he lives out this calling upon our lives. And, in turn, this has caused me to raise up a cry to have Him lead my heart and provide ways to re-connect with the ministry--to revive my heart in what we do. I note the "wisdom of the years" that holds me back from jumping into vast needs in the ministry, not willing to see the home be sacrificed, but yet, knowing and believing our faithful God wants to grant a lifeline that stokes the passion for what we do--fueling intercession and inspiring encouragement for my husband.

Isn't the Lord so good to us?? I read the following verses as a part of a courtship narrative at my friend Cindy's wedding and they often strike a chord in my heart in times of reflection:

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you...
How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD."
Psalm 116: 7, 12-13

Romans 8--COMPLETED!

I actually finished this the day before we went to Colorado. It was pretty exciting and has been great each time I've gone back over it since then.

Romans 8

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set YOU FREE, in Christ Jesus, from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who walk, not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. The mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law, indeed it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

"You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if, in fact, the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to Him. But, if Christ in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

"So then, brothers (and sisters), we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die. But, if, by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have have received the spirit of adoption as sons (and daughters)by whom we cry "Abba Father". The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. And if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with Him.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creations waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope, that the creation itself will be freed from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation is groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons (and daughters), the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

"Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us who can be against us? He who did not spare His own son, but gave him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Who can bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is it to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or danger, or nakedness, or sword? As it is written:

"'For your sake we are being killed all the day long. We are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.'

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I know that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor heighth nor depth nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Amen and Amen--PRAISE YOU LORD!

"You are my witnesses..."

Being Joyful Witnesses

To speak about Jesus and his divine work of salvation shouldn't be a burden or a heavy obligation. When we go to people feeling that unless they accept our way of knowing Jesus, they are lost and we are failures, it is hardly possible to be true witnesses.

It is a great joy when people recognise through our witness that Jesus is the divine redeemer who opened for them the way to God. It is a true cause for gratitude and celebration. But we should also be able to live joyful and grateful lives when our witness with deeds and words does not lead people to accept Jesus in the way we do.

I'm finding again that I want to re-claim that "joy of my salvation" that flows out spontaneously...this makes me think of "the Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis and the lady who comes to her husband who hasn't come to Christ. She speaks with a compassion to him of the joy she knows and he keeps wanting to pull her into his dwarfed colorless world...observing this, C.S. Lewis as narrator cannot believe that he isn't changed, but is also taken when the woman sees the impass that remains between them and is compelled onward in the unspeakable joy of the Heaven and God that she knows...

Obviously, the tears are not all dried here and hearts that burn for the lost are so needed and so rare these days...but just as in any relationship, to let a hallmark of salvation, our joy, be robbed because we do not see these ones come to Jesus is not God's Best for us. I think as witnesses of the Good News we can't help but be so overflowing with the hope and beauty of this message that it overpowers all other things...

One of the recent connections in Global Media Outreach is a young woman from Colombia who I've been able to share the gospel with as she has shared her desire to be "special", to be able to rise above the hate in her world and just the honest searching of one who longs for relationship with the Lord...please pray for this woman who the Lord knows by name and prayerfully will be "His Own" soon.

Romans 8 Update

Thought I'd let you know where I've gotten to:

Romans 8:1-25 (English Standard Version)

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free, in Christ Jesus, from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

For those who live according to the flesh, set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. The mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law, indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if, in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

So then, brothers (and sisters) we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if, by the Spirit, you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption as sons (and daughters), by whom we cry, "Abba Father". The Spirit himself bears witness with our Spirit that we are children of God. And if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from it's bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, grown inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons (and daughters), the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is no hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

This has truly been one of the most exciting endeavors I have been a part of recently and I am so thankful to be going through this passage over and over again...I can't help but know it is sinking deeper and deeper and will be such a rich storehouse to draw from in the days, seasons, ahead, wherever I may find myself.

Have you started some scripture memory since my last post? Please share how it is going and what you are memorizing...I hope to hear from some of you!

"There is therefore now no condemnation...."

...for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of Life has set YOU free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law weakened by the flesh COULD NOT DO. By sending HIS OWN SON in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be met in us who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For to live according to the flesh is to set your mind on the flesh, but to live according to the Spirit is to set your mind on the Spirit. To set your mind on the flesh is DEATH, but to set your mind on the Spirit is LIFE AND PEACE." Romans 8:1-5



I think I got it all.



This is PART OF the most recent passage Jared and I have decided to memorize together. And this is as much as I have gotten in 2 days. (We are hoping to memorize ALL OF ROMANS 8!) We have memorized several passages of scripture together, but hadn't recently and he mentioned the other day that it would be good to memorize another one. After praying about different promises, etc. that would be good for both of us to meditate upon as we memorize a passage, the Lord immediately took me to Romans 8. Just in repeating this section over and over this evening, the life-changing reality of the Gospel and what God has given us in Christ became so deep and real and penetrating and victory-giving.



As a Mom of a young child with another COMING SOON!, as much as I'd love to pour through the theological books I did at other points in life, the reality of time and what my mind attaches best to as a Mom brings me more and more to Scripture. I want to remember great Promises of old (Lamentations 3:22-23; Matthew 11:28-30; Phil. 3:7-11; II Corinthians 4:16-18) that have met me in the darkest times of my life and focus myself upon "hiding in my heart" anew or more fully passages like Romans 8. Just beginning with this passage, I can already know I will be feasting in the time to come as I work through memorizing it. I will be able to recite the amazing progression of this chapter and I just need to repeat it when I think of it and add a little more each day...

I was partially inspired to memorize this passage remembering listening to a John Piper Sermon on memorizing scripture. "If My Words Abide in You" (download here) where he recites (I believe) the entire chapter of Romans 8 and it was so powerful to hear all together and then his personal testimony of how the Lord has used Scripture memorization in his life.

I hope you are encouraged...as a mom it's very simple and something that you can "SET YOUR MIND UPON" whether it's one simple verse for a month or a longer passage. I do want to encourage you in this...I am so blessed to have both been raised in a home where the Scriptures were brought to me at a young age and I began to memorize at church, and also I have a mind that can memorize pretty easily, but I know that the true blessing over the years in my life has been "calling to mind and therefore having hope..." (Lam. 3:21b) and this is the only foundation that I dare walk ahead in in my life. The Scriptures are our sword and in the uncertainty of what a day can bring, I don't want my heart to anchor itself on anything less.

May this meet you in a particular way in your journey...Keep the Faith!