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Monday, November 17, 2008

Parenting advice...please comment

Ok, so I need to ask for some advice. JJ has been THROWING HIS CUP on the floor for months. We have been disciplining him with a very firm "no", smacking his hand (this doesn't seem to affect him too much, honestly). I just heard of the three strikes, which we've done, in a sense, I usually don't let him "have" the cup after 2 or 3 times, but he does still need to drink, especially now as he's getting over a cold. So, can you please help me, because whatever we are doing now, doesn't seem to be getting through! Julie and Sarah, I know you've read some good books, please comment. Thanks everyone!


Julie said...

Hey Abby,

Jasper does this too, as you know. I will think on this... I have just taken it away from him while he is eating and only let him have it when he is done eating and sit with him while he is drinking it and then when he tries to through it, I grab it with his hand still holding it and put it back on the tray and say "yes" and leave the cup there, if he tries to throw it then he isn't thirsty... he is telling you he is done. So, don't worry about him needing a drink, if he was thirsty it wouldn't be on the floor, it would be in his mouth sucking down the water!!!! :) HOpe this helps!!!

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Lisa said...

Hey Abby,
Both of the boys did this, and I did the same things that you did. I think that it's important to remember that they are learning...they are trying to figure everything out. Not only are they learning about gravity, but they are also learning about obeying/listening and boundries. It's important to be consistent, so that they learn that you mean what you say...and he will continute to test, until he learns that he needs to listen. It's a process, but beleive me they do learn, and before you know it, he'll be a big boy that listens well :) It sounds like you're doing the right things, so keep being consistent, and before long he'll get it!

Sarah K said...

Hey Abby:) Ha I totally know what you are going through...Noah has some of those "ticks" going right now as well...obviously! We pretty much did what you did with the cup throwing, although I know a couple times I did actually get him out of the chair to spank his leg bc he definitely knows "no" and that he shouldn't be doing throwing his cup. We try to make him keep it on his tray rather than just taking it away from him so he learns to not throw it while it's there. Distracting works well sometimes with whatever we're eating and usually when i can get his attention off the cup he just leaves it alone. So I don't know if that helps at all, definitely sounds like you guys are doing a great job...and I agree with Lisa...consistency and knowing you mean it will help a lot...and also that you're doing the best you can and he will get it:) Good luck!!!

Alicia Larson said...

Hey Abby,

You probably don't remember me but I was one of
Sara's college roommates. I've been following your blog since you moved to Orlando. I've got a couple of books that have been really helpful for us when it comes to disciplining our kids and remembering why we do so. Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and another one called Don't Make Me Count to Three. I can't remember who wrote the second but it's published by Shepherd Press just like Tripp's book. Hope that's helpful. Glad someone else I know has moved to Florida. We're glad to finally be getting some cool weather.

Alicia (Colbert) Larson

Staci L. Photography said...

After having 3 children...I just had to all myself to admit (haha) that kids do VERY annoying things. :-( I know it's hard with your first...hence the wonderful birth order traits we help our children achieve by our experience as time goes on. :-) But, sometimes ignoring it and not giving him the attention for it can really help. Even if your reaction is not giving him positive attention...he probably enjoys seeing the range of emotions in people & himself! And the whole "cause & effect"'s partly enjoying the cup falling down...seeing your reaction, etc. ALL of my kids did this...and the more we gave NO reaction...they felt it was worthless to do such a silly thing! Once in a great while...Amara still throws her cup (and she's 2!!!) but it's strategic now. :-) Sometimes making the concept of NO can be fun, too. Be creative!! Distract, distract, distract! Ignore the cup throwing...just pick it it back on his tray, but make a silly face about the food he's eating and talk about his food or silly to put his mind on something else.
Just always remember to choose your battles wisely, appreciate the learning process in your child AND in yourself & be consistent with whatever you do! And above all else...that LOVE thing definitely does the trick! You guys are awesome parents & JJ is a beautiful little man! ENJOY!!!!!!!