and this day when I hold you in my arms and you four big years now. and I cuddle you and I remember how I held you when you first came to the BIG doctor’s office and you so tiny and this world so big. and I lost it when you cried with your first shots and it takes a piece of me today, 4 years later when I cuddle and you cry because it hurts.
And I cry for all that hurts in this life and I can’t protect you from it.
And I think of how just last night you sigh at dinner and say you are sad having to give back all of our houses, our Florida house, Colorado house, first Pennsylvania house and now this second you know we will leave soon. And your little heart is weary born into this sojourning family following the bigness of God leading us across an ocean.
And so I remember how He is writing your story. It is bigger than your mommy and daddy’s calling and it is bigger than shots that hurt to protect you and it is bigger than all that we will fail you in and that this whole world will fail you in and you with your big heart feeling the shots and I feeling them right with you. And I remember that the pieces that this Mama’s heart is breaking into are the very heart of God given to me for you to intercede for you and to make a Home where He is all the hope and refuge and strength and tender grace to see us through this long journey home.